Do not fall for the scam of having a star “named after you”. If you ever contemplate buying me one of these “unique gifts”, please make sure that
I.a. “Naming” equates “transferring ownership of the star and all planets, celestial bodies and resources within its gravitational field”.
I.b. Legal status of said document is valid and indisputable across the universe.
II.a. “Named” solar system contains at least one planet within its habitable zone that can be readily inhabited by humans and does not require costly terraforming.
II.b. Habitable planet(s) have internet access.
III. By the time I receive ownership of my solar system technology has advanced enough to make interstellar travel convenient, i.e. I can easily reach my solar system within 24 hours from Earth.
IV.a. “Named” solar system is not inhabited by other sentient beings which would or could object to colonisation by a foreign overlord.
IV.b. “Named” solar system is not inhabited by alien organisms or sentient beings that feed on humans.
IV.c. “Named” solar system is not currently claimed by other civilizations, organisms or individuals, or anywhere near any black holes, or similar phenomena or circumstances that would threaten its integrity.
V.a. Ownership and coordinates of solar system are not public.
V.b. You do not give me the gift in the circumstance of a party. (Refer to point V.a.). If you wish to hand it to me with others present, please use a decoy document with fake coordinates, or yet better, a completely unrelated decoy gift.
VI. Giving me this gift does not guarantee you access to, or an invitation to visit my solar system.
VII. These rules are subject to future amendment, so please refer back to me if you would consider gifting me a star in the near future.